-- tell me are you crazy, and did you mind the cold,

[downswinging]

[ Locked to roamings & thenerdangel. ]

[ The bar's practically empty, the only other people inhabiting it the same kind of down and out drunk that Dean's just aiming to be. The barmaid - Candy? or Sandy? - keeps giving him the eye but Dean's barely pays her any attention beyond refilling his glass. It's what she's doing now, leaning over so he gets the full view of her cleavage and the glint of her name badge (oh, Mandy). He used to give a crap about this kind of stuff, would respond to the pretty waitress without a thought, but recent years have taken the joy out of it. People are best kept where they can't stab you in the back the moment your boundaries are down. He's learnt that the hard way.

Besides which, he's barely got enough room in his brain to contemplate the cheap and meaningless fuck she's offering. It's the Apocalypse, all day, every day. All he has to do is think about that and his libido gets doused in cold water. Dean could fix things, he could save the world for one little yes, and he used to think it was a good thing having pride, that being the kind of man who didn't back down for nobody was what made him special.

Now he just wonders if it's just stubborn fear clogging up his throat each and every time.

Glad he came out alone, Dean knows it's just going to be one of those nights, the kind where it'll be the blur of alcohol filling his system, hopefully getting drunk just enough to ignite some kind of life in him. Maybe he won't say no to Mandy, maybe he'll go home with her and avoid having to find an excuse to sleep in the Impala, avoid having the very conversation that's been brewing on the horizon between him and his brother. Cas too, the rare times he's around. They're disappointed, but it's okay, so is Dean. He's the one with the most of it.

Glancing away from the reflected bar-back, he swallows down the entire glass, feels it scrape raw against his throat. ] Another when you're ready, sweetheart.

Comments

[roamings]

[ Thankfully Sam has experience dealing with what a massive pain in the ass his brother can be, taking in the alcoholic glaze in his eyes with a mounting disbelief that this is what he'd ditch Sam for after he's spent the last however long talking about how they need to do this together and Dean's gonna go lock his wounds over a couple pints and do his usual teenager bullshit?

Sam wishes he were surprised. ] Dean, come on, you can't be serious.

[thenerdangel]

[ Castiel spares a brief moment to send a death glare at the barmaid who scurries along to the opposite end of the bar to serve the other patrons, and then he turns his full attention on Dean, gaze intense and presence very much there.

If he sounds angry it's because he is, but there's something else there beneath it, desperation, perhaps, fear even. But mostly it's anger. ] After everything that we have been through together, this is the choice that you make?

[downswinging]

Wo-oah, slow down there, this isn't Wisteria Lane.

[ There's barely a swallow left in his glass and thanks to Cas frightening away the barmaid, there's no one left to give him more alcohol. His gaze slides over him before he shrugs. ]

Can't a guy go for a drink now, huh? [ Back to his brother. ] Or do I gotta get y'to sign a form or something.

[roamings]

Except I speak dick brother and leaving without telling me ranks pretty high on the cry for help meter there, Dudley Moore. Cas is right, what gives?

[ Sam has every right to be furious, glaring down at this sorry sack that is still the brother he loves pissing away his courage one glass at a time. This isn't some weepy alcohol intervention, Dean's a grown ass man, but the setting leaves something to be desired, or there really needs to be less readily available booze if Sam's going to kick his ass back into reality. ]

[thenerdangel]

[ There is a slight glare as he throws Sam a look that clearly states he knows not of this reference, but he doesn't comment because this is that serious.

He shifts closer to Dean's side, the intimidation levels rising. ] This is serious, Dean, I had to leave Heaven for this.

[downswinging]

An' I didn't ask you to come down, so unwind your panties there, feathers.

[ He cuts an annoyed look toward Sam, as though there's nothing wrong whatsoever, that Dean is just out for a good time and there's nothing the matter at all. ]